Scout: Double jump everywhere and avoid all damage, but at the same time miss at point blank range with a shotgun.
Soldier: Never rocket jump out of fear, always stay on the ground.
Demo: PRO STICKY AND PIPE SHOTS!
Heavy: Already too many heavies, and when there isn't I'm the prime candidate for a Pocket Medic. Do terrible because I'm horrible under pressure
Engineer: Build sentry guns and not give any fucks, my favorite class.
Medic: Second favorite class, love helping my teammates.
Sniper: Use the Machina because I can't aim worth shit, or use the Huntsmen
Spy: Never get a kill, always get spotted, everyone knows I'm the Spy instantly. Let's just pretend that I can't select this class.